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Feral

English74 行1 份公开分析
Original Poetry
Translation
Feral
Feral
Oh I’m in peril
Oh I’m in danger
Look at me, I ask please,
Look at me, I ask you to please,
To look at me.
To look at me.
Friend, I don’t pretend to be your friend.
Friend, I’m not pretending to be your friend.
I’m not here to make you feel better.
I’m not here to make you feel better.
I’m not here to make you feel good.
I’m not here to make you feel good.
All that loving light and bullshit.
All that loving light and nonsense.
You’re enough?
You’re enough?
Enough?
Enough?
Enough!
Enough!
I’m done with it.
I’m finished with it.
Honestly
Honestly–
Putting up a smile every day
Putting on a smile every day
Oh how are you always so joyfulThey say.
They say, “Oh how are you always so joyful?”
Well, I just play a clown every day,
Well, I just act like a clown every day,
just to turn the frown of all those around me upside down every day.
just to turn the frown of everyone around me upside down every day.
Just in the hope that they won’t frown at me I say.
Just hoping they won’t frown at me, I say.
And WHY? What’s the point?
And WHY? What’s the point?
they go back home and drown again.
They go back home and drown again.
But WHY? What’s the point?
But WHY? What’s the point?
I go back home and drown again.
I go back home and drown again.
Oh wee, in the sea
Oh wee, in the sea
drowning
drowning
Ready to drag them out
Ready to pull them out
just for them to jump in again
just for them to jump in again
A
A–
STOUNDING
ASTOUNDING…
Wee hoo, silly ooh, are you finally gonna doopdehdoo?
Wee hoo, silly ooh, are you finally going to doopdehdoo?
Wee hoo, silly ooh, do I still look happy to you?
Wee hoo, silly ooh, do I still look happy to you?
Ex
Ex–
hausted
hausted…
And here I am just breathing, or at least trying to.
And here I am just breathing, or at least trying.
Friends are important they say, well are they? The only important thing
They say friends are important, but are they? The only important thing
Is the air going in my lungs.
Is the air going into my lungs.
Fuck all this goodness.
Forget all this goodness.
As long as I don’t do harm,
As long as I don’t cause harm,
I am already happy enough.
I am already happy enough.
Is what I’d like to say
Is what I’d like to say
Yet, I’m still drowning every day.
Yet, I’m still drowning every day.
I can’t stop clowning every day.
I can’t stop acting like a clown every day.
I smear the paint away
I wipe the paint away
And nowWhy are you always frowning?” They say.
And now they say, “Why are you always frowning?”
Well, I’m done clowning every day
Well, I’m done acting like a clown every day
Is what I’d like to say
Is what I’d like to say
But with every smear
But with every wipe
Everything I think I hold dear,
Everything I think I cherish,
Might disappear
Might disappear
A little more I fear
A little more I fear
Pain
Pain–
On my face
On my face
My cheeks may lift in the air with grace.
My cheeks may lift in the air gracefully.
Yet every time I have to brace,
Yet every time I have to prepare,
Cause it hurts my face.
Because it hurts my face.
Yes it hurts,
Yes it hurts,
It hurts.
It hurts.
I say it hurts.
I say it hurts.
I am no longer trying
I am no longer trying
I’m just here crying
I’m just here crying
Sighing
Sighing
In an unhinged phase,
In a chaotic phase,
A feral craze
A wild craze
Attempting to displace this disgrace
Trying to remove this shame
So I can hide my true face.
So I can hide my true face.
That upside down frown,
That upside down frown,
No longer feels like a jewel on my crown.
No longer feels like a jewel on my crown.
And now
And now–
When I see myself smiling
When I see myself smiling
I don’t feel any joy.
I don’t feel any joy.
I think It’s time to take off the costume.
I think it’s time to take off the costume.
And try breathing.
And try breathing.
It’s over.
It’s over.
Is
Is–
what I’d like to say.
what I’d like to say.
 

Explanation

The poem 'Feral' explores the complex emotional landscape of an individual grappling with the pressures of societal expectations and the struggle for authenticity. The speaker opens with a stark declaration of being in 'peril,' immediately establishing a tone of vulnerability and urgency. Lines like 'Look at me, I ask please' reveal a deep yearning for recognition and understanding, while the admission 'Friend, I don’t pretend to be your friend' underscores a disconnection from others, suggesting a façade that the speaker feels compelled to maintain.

As the poem progresses, the speaker articulates their exhaustion with the performance of happiness, stating, 'Putting up a smile every day.' This line encapsulates the emotional labor involved in masking true feelings, as the speaker plays the role of a clown to uplift others, even at the cost of their own well-being. The repetition of 'drown' in the context of both the speaker and those they try to help emphasizes a shared struggle with despair, highlighting the futility of their efforts.

The emotional arc shifts from a sense of duty to a realization of personal pain, culminating in the poignant lines, 'I am no longer trying / I’m just here crying.' Here, the tone shifts to one of resignation and sorrow, as the speaker acknowledges their inability to continue the charade. The imagery of the 'upside down frown' and the metaphor of the 'costume' serve to illustrate the internal conflict between outward appearances and inner turmoil.

Craft-wise, the poem employs a mix of colloquial language and vivid imagery, which creates an intimate connection with the reader. The use of enjambment throughout the poem reflects the speaker's chaotic thoughts and feelings, while the stark declarations punctuated by dashes convey a sense of urgency and emotional intensity. Ultimately, 'Feral' speaks to the broader themes of mental health and the societal pressures that compel individuals to hide their true selves, resonating deeply in contemporary discourse on authenticity and emotional well-being.

Word Dictionary15

WordIn EnglishPlain (English)Pron.
Feralwild, untamednot domesticated or cultivated; existing in a natural stateFeral
perildangerserious and immediate dangerperil
pretendact as ifto make believe; to act as if something is true when it is notpretend
bullshitnonsensefoolish or nonsensical talk or ideasbullshit
clownjestera performer who entertains others, often by making them laughclown
drownsink in waterto die by submerging in water; to be overwhelmeddrown
exhaustedvery tiredextremely tired; drained of energyexhausted
goodnesskindnessthe quality of being good; moral excellencegoodness
harminjuryphysical injury or damage; emotional distressharm
smearingspreadingto spread or apply a substance on a surfacesmearing
braceprepareto prepare oneself for something difficult or unpleasantbrace
displaceremoveto move something from its usual place; to replacedisplace
disgraceshameloss of reputation or respect; dishonordisgrace
jewelprecious stonea precious stone or ornament; something valuablejewel
costumeoutfita set of clothes worn to represent a character or rolecostume

Poet & Context

Poet
EraContemporary

The poet remains unidentified, but the work reflects contemporary themes of mental health, societal expectations, and personal struggle.


WhenRecent years, likely in the 21st century
WhyThe poem addresses the internal struggles of maintaining a facade of happiness while dealing with personal pain and societal pressures.
FormFree verse

Themes & More

mental healthsocietal expectationsidentity and authenticity
metaphor: comparing the speaker's emotional state to drowning, emphasizing feelings of overwhelmenjambment: creating a sense of urgency and chaos in the speaker's thoughtsrepetition: emphasizing key feelings and ideas, such as 'enough' and 'drowning'
Feral — 未知诗人 | AI 诗歌分析