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Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw—Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw—
Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw—
For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air—
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there!
Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square—
But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!
He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s.
And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair—
Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there!
And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty’s gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair—
But it’s useless to investigate—Macavity’s not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
‘It must have been Macavity!’—but he’s a mile away.
You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs;
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
Macavity is a mysterious cat known as the Hidden Paw—
Because he is the master criminal who can break the Law.
He confounds Scotland Yard and frustrates the Flying Squad:
Because when they arrive at the crime scene—Macavity’s not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
He has broken every human law and even the law of gravity.
His ability to levitate would astonish a fakir,
And when you arrive at the crime scene—Macavity’s not there!
You might search for him in the basement, or look up in the sky—
But I assure you repeatedly, Macavity’s not there!
Macavity is a ginger cat, tall and thin;
You would recognize him if you saw him, as his eyes are sunken.
His forehead is deeply lined with thought, and his head is very domed;
His fur is dusty from neglect, and his whiskers are unkempt.
He moves his head side to side, like a snake;
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s actually wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
For he’s a wicked creature in cat form, a monster of evil.
You might encounter him in a side street, or see him in the square—
But when a crime is found, then Macavity’s not there!
He appears respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any Scotland Yard files.
And when the pantry is robbed, or the jewelry is stolen,
Or when the milk is gone, or another Pekingese has been suffocated,
Or the greenhouse glass is shattered, and the trellis is broken—
Oh, there’s the wonder of it! Macavity’s not there!
And when the Foreign Office discovers a missing Treaty,
Or the Admiralty misplaces plans and drawings,
There might be a scrap of paper in the hallway or on the stairs—
But it’s pointless to investigate—Macavity’s not there!
And when the loss is revealed, the Secret Service says:
'It must have been Macavity!'—but he’s far away.
You’ll likely find him resting, or licking his thumbs;
Or engaged in doing complex long division problems.
Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,
There has never been a cat so deceitful and charming.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
No matter when the crime happened—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the cats known for their wicked deeds
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are merely agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls their actions: the Napoleon of Crime!