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I have a lurking suspicion
I have a lurking suspicion That this man is a myth And should I ever ask about him Wheeler may recollect old man Jim Regardless I let him go his own way And never interrupted him Once Sure enough he starts on about old Jim Smiley I do not find buttonholing beguiling I heard all about how He’d bet if he could get anyone to bet on the other side And if he couldn’t He’d change sides Dog fight? Bet on it. Cat fight? Bet on it. CHICKEN fight? Bet on it. He’d foller a doggone straddle bug to Mexico If he could bet on Where he was bound for and how long He’d be on the road Thish-yer Smiley had a Mare And thish-yer Smiley had a cow And thish-yer Smiley had a little bull pup And thish-yer Smiley had rat terriers And Chicken cocks, and Tomcats And E-I-E-I-O he had the whole darn Farm To bet on. The bull pup would freeze to the hind legs Of the other fighting dog Till he harnessed a dog that didn’t have no hind legs … Then he looked sort of discouraged like He didn’t try no more to win the fight He limped off a piece And laid down And died. And thish-yer Smiley had a frog Dan’l Webster was the name of the frog And Smiley was dead set on learning that frog to jump He’d sit him down and give him a little punch on the rump And up goes Dan’l “flies, Dan’l, Flies” If you were to ask old man Smiley “What might it be that you've got in the box?” He’d respond “It might be a canary, maybe, but it ain’t, it’s only just a frog … Well Thish-yer Smiley had a yaller one-eyed cow-” I did not wait to hear about the afflicted cow.
I have a feeling That this man might not be real And if I ever ask about him Wheeler might remember old Jim Anyway I let him do his own thing And never stopped him Once Sure enough, he starts talking about old Jim Smiley I don't find being cornered interesting I heard all about how He’d bet if he could get someone to bet against him And if he couldn’t He’d switch sides Dog fight? Bet on it. Cat fight? Bet on it. CHICKEN fight? Bet on it. He’d follow a bug to Mexico If he could bet on Where it was going and how long It would take This Smiley had a horse And this Smiley had a cow And this Smiley had a little bull dog And this Smiley had rat terriers And roosters, and Tomcats And E-I-E-I-O he had the whole farm To bet on. The bull dog would hold onto the back legs Of the other fighting dog Until he faced a dog without back legs … Then he looked kind of discouraged He didn’t try to win the fight anymore He limped away And laid down And died. And this Smiley had a frog Dan’l Webster was the frog’s name And Smiley was determined to teach that frog to jump He’d sit him down and give him a little push on the backside And up goes Dan’l “flies, Dan’l, Flies” If you asked old man Smiley “What do you have in the box?” He’d say “It might be a canary, maybe, but it’s not, it’s just a frog … Well, this Smiley had a yellow one-eyed cow-” I didn’t wait to hear about the sick cow.