on her blindess adam thorpe

Adam ThorpeEnglish64 lines1 public analyses
Original Poetry
Translation
on her blindess adam thorpe
My mother couldn't stand being blind,
My mother could not bear being blind,
really. It's something you shouldn't say.
to be honest. One shouldn’t say it.
You should hide the fact that terrible
One should hide the fact that catastrophic
disabilities are awful; you usually hear
handicaps are hell; one tends to hear,
from those who endure it
publicly from those who bear it
like a Roman, or somehow find happiness
like a Roman, or somehow find joy
in the struggle. She once turned to me,
in the fight. She turned to me, once,
in a Paris restaurant, still unable to find
in a Paris restaurant, still not finding
the food on her plate with her fork,
the food on the plate with her fork,
or not so that it stayed on (try it
or not so that it stayed on (try it
in complete darkness) and whispered,
in a pitch-black room) and whispered,
"It's a living hell, really Adam.
It’s living hell, to be honest Adam.
If I lost hope of a cure, I'd end
If I gave up hope of a cure, I’d bump
my life." I don't remember what I said,
myself off.” I don’t recall what I replied,
but it must have been the usual comfort,
but it must have been the usual sop,
inadequate: the trapped son.
inadequate: the locked-in son.
She maintained her dignity, though, even when
She kept her dignity, though, even when
bumping into walls like a bumper car; her sense
bumping into walls like a dodgem; her sense
of direction didn't get better, when focused
My mother could not bear being blind,
inward. "No built-in compass," as my father
to be honest. One shouldn’t say it.
joked. Instead, she pretended to
One should hide the fact that catastrophic
ignore the emptiness, or laughed it off.
handicaps are hell; one tends to hear,
Or saw things she couldn't see
publicly from those who bear it
and smiled, like when the kids would give
like a Roman, or somehow find joy
the latest drawing, or show her their new toy
in the fight. She turned to me, once,
– so we'd forget, at times, that the long,
in a Paris restaurant, still not finding
slow decline had ended in a vision
the food on the plate with her fork,
as blank as stone. For example, she kept
or not so that it stayed on (try it
driving the old Lanchester
in a pitch-black room) and whispered,
long after it was safe
It’s living hell, to be honest Adam.
down the Berkshire lanes. She'd go to exhibitions,
If I gave up hope of a cure, I’d bump
admire films, immerse in television
myself off.” I don’t recall what I replied,
while looking the wrong way.
but it must have been the usual sop,
Her last week alive (two weeks ago)
inadequate: the locked-in son.
had beautiful weather, of course,
She kept her dignity, though, even when
the autumn trees around the hospital
bumping into walls like a dodgem; her sense
blazing with color, the ground rich
of direction did not improve, when cast
with fallen leaves. I told her this, forgetting,
inward. “No built-in compass,” as my father
as she sat too weak to move, staring
joked. Instead, she pretended to
at nothing. "Oh yes, I know," she said,
ignore the void, or laughed it off.
"it's lovely out there." Dying hasn't made her
Or saw things she couldn’t see
any more blind, but now she can't
and smiled, as when the kids would offer
pretend. Her eyelids were closed
the latest drawing, or show her their new toy
in the coffin; it was up to us to believe
so we’d forget, at times, that the long,
she was watching, somewhere, in the end.
slow slide had finished in a vision
as blank as stone. For instance, she’d continued
to drive the old Lanchester
long after it was safe
down the Berkshire lanes. She’d visit exhibitions,
admire films, sink into television
while looking the wrong way.
Her last week alive (a fortnight back)
was golden weather, of course,
the autumn trees around the hospital
ablaze with colour, the ground royal
with leaf-fall. I told her this, forgetting,
as she sat too weak to move, staring
at nothing. “Oh yes, I know,” she said,
it’s lovely out there.” Dying has made her
no more sightless, but now she can’t
pretend. Her eyelids were closed
in the coffin; it was up to us to believe
she was watching, somewhere, in the end
 

Explanation

Adam Thorpe's poem 'On Her Blindness' is a poignant reflection on his mother's struggle with blindness and her eventual death. The poem is deeply personal and autobiographical, capturing the emotional turmoil and denial associated with her condition. Thorpe's mother is portrayed as a dignified woman who, despite her blindness, tries to maintain a semblance of normalcy and humor. The poem reveals the harsh reality of living with a disability, contrasting public perceptions of bravery with the private agony experienced by those affected. The narrative is set against the backdrop of everyday life, with vivid imagery of autumn and familial interactions. The poem's tone is both tender and honest, acknowledging the pain and helplessness felt by both the mother and son. The use of free verse allows Thorpe to convey the raw emotions and fragmented experiences of his mother's life, culminating in a reflection on her death and the enduring hope that she is watching over them from somewhere beyond.

Word Dictionary15

WordIn EnglishPlain (English)Pron.
bearendureto tolerate or withstandbair
catastrophicdisastrousextremely harmful or damagingcat-uh-strof-ik
handicapsdisabilitiesphysical or mental conditions that limit activitieshan-di-caps
Romanstoicshowing endurance and strength like ancient Romansroh-man
dodgembumper cara small electric car used in amusement parksdoj-em
compassdirection finderan instrument for determining directionkum-pas
voidemptinessa completely empty spacevoid
Lanchestercara type of carlan-chest-er
Berkshireplace in Englanda county in South East Englandbark-sheer
fortnighttwo weeksa period of two weeksfort-night
ablazeon firefilled with bright color or lightuh-blayz
royalmajesticgrand or splendidroy-al
sopconsolationa small gesture to comfortsop
pretendactto make believe or simulatepri-tend
visionsightthe ability to seevizh-un

Poet & Context

EraContemporary

Adam Thorpe is a British poet and novelist born on December 5, 1956. He is known for his works that include poetry, novels, short stories, and translations. Thorpe frequently contributes reviews and articles to various newspapers and literary journals.

View on Wikipedia
WhenPublished in the 21st century
WhyThe poem is an autobiographical reflection on the poet's mother's experience with blindness and her eventual death. It explores themes of disability, denial, and the emotional struggles faced by both the individual and their family.
FormFree verse

Themes & More

disabilitydenialfamilydeathdignity
imagery: vivid descriptions of autumn and blindnessmetaphor: comparing blindness to 'living hell'alliteration: 'slow slide', 'golden weather'irony: pretending to see despite blindnessrepetition: 'to be honest' emphasizes truthfulness
on her blindess adam thorpe by Adam Thorpe — Poem, Translation & Meaning